I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
