OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
