It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
