Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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