Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
