I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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