Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I AM VODKA MAN
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Randomize
