She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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