Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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