You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
