That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
