So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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