i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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