Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
