my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
