walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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