So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
