You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
