apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize
