So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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