Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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