I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Actions speak louder than pants.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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