I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
