i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Pooping to opera.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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