I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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