if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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