my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
