I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
