who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
