Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
