How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
