it was like his penis was on wheels.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
