Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
