My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
