one two three fourrrrnication!
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
