Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
