Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Randomize
