How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
