Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
