So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Is Oprah even human
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
