was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
