Say something about gay babies.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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