I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
