the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
