I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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