Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
We need to rekindle our bromance
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
