We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize