So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
