Nicole vs. Life
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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