Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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