Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
