You're my little dorito
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
