You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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