i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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